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Marital research shows that these differences are one of the most important factors in mutual happiness and personal growth for couples in long-term relationships. The famous line,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], "You complete me,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]," from the movie Jerry McGuire captures the power of differences.
She spoke to her siblings and in-laws, and they developed a plan that involved shorter visits to the same place every year. The place was closer to where she and her husband lived. The plan was that the family would meet at her home, and the family would leave the next day for the holiday destination. Her husband would be a passenger in her brother's car since he was an excellent driver.
A: You've probably heard the expression "opposites attract." But what, exactly does this mean? And is it true? Of course, nothing is true for all couples, but,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in general,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we have a tendency to choose someone whose personality style adds or complements our own.
4,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Aim to understand each of your tendencies and differences. Varying styles are a product of genetics and life experience. But neither of these are closed doors. It's amazing how much capacity we have when the relationship environment is loving. Ask yourself: Why am I the way I am? Why is my partner that way?
She suggested that he become part of the greeting committee that signed people into the event. His time with others was limited, he felt useful, and he could then pick and choose which people to pursue later.
2. Learn from your partner and expand your world. Loosen your fears, your "this is who I am" approach. When you step outside your comfort zone, you expand your coping skills. No one wants only one tool in their tool box of life. Sit down with your partner and ask for help in your areas of weakness. Offer to help your partner. For example,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], one of my couples had problems in social situations. She was an elected official and had to attend many rubber chicken dinners and fund raisers. Her partner dreaded these events because he felt too much pressure to mingle and chit-chat. He hated small talk because he thought it was shallow. Besides, he wasn't adept at it.
The question is: Just what are the best kinds of differences? Once again, one person's good match is another person's mistake. The proof, as they say,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], is always in the pudding. Yet,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], there are some types of differences that seem to enrich a relationship. For example,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the best differences can offer a partner more variety and flexibility in managing problems and life in general. An outgoing person can teaches a more introverted person how to feel comfortable with others, a calm person can show an easily rattled person how to manage annoyances, and a more out-spoken person can help a too passive partner learn to speak up.
If you and your partner have different temperaments, relationship styles, and comfort zones, here is a guide for handling those differences.
Copyright © 2012 QualityHealth.com. All rights reserved.
5. Choose your battles and develop strategies. What's really bothering you-and why,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? Where is the pressure coming from? Parents? Colleagues? The story in number 3 is a perfect example of how to work together to iron out issues when you don't see eye-to-eye,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
1. Get into a loving mindset. Accept your partner's differences. In fact, celebrate them! Your varying styles make you a stronger decision-making, life-managing couple.
3. Don't try to change or criticize your partner. No good, joyful learning ever occurred through nagging or criticizing. Would you want someone to criticize you? Ask your partner if he or she would like some help with his or her tendencies toward things such as shyness or an overly logical way of looking at problems. Some couples get caught up in "apologizing" for their partner's shyness or assertiveness. The other person experiences these apologies, though,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as veiled criticism and rejection.
Q: I love my partner very much, but how do I manage that we are so opposite when it comes to being outgoing and social?
A couple I'd been seeing had huge arguments about his overly logical way of making decisions. "It was all dollars and cents to him--with little sense," the wife said. When they discussed vacations with the extended family, her husband always chose to have the family visit them. "It cut down expenses," he always reasoned. At the end of each of these holiday visits, the wife was exhausted from cooking and cleaning. And the other relatives felt the negative impact of his attitude. The holidays were rarely fun. Privately, the wife knew her husband feared the dangers of driving and flying. She appealed to his discomfort by telling him the importance of establishing fun family traditions.
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Mother's Muskaan is a well sustained play group to UKG School located at posh area of Sonepat in Haryana. Our school is always introducing new trends of teaching learning methods to our students at their beginning sessions of learning and writing. We are offering co-education between the age groups of 3 to 4 years students. Here we are dealing students through teaching various sorts of fun activities. Children are being offered various learning options with creative and visual imaginary activities,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], diverse types of play activities in groups, communication skills activities,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], music and dramatic plays,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], storytelling and various other cultural activities.
Children will become more sensitive in our school among their same aged co-friends and teachers. Parents and other people are become surprised to listens the quality and meaning full talks of our small wonders at homes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Our school prepares children in such a manner that they will easily handle all types of challenges in grabbing fast admission at some reputed primary or senior secondary school anywhere in India and abroad too,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
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If we look into the infrastructure of the school,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it will charm you with its modernity. Students will find big airy and air conditioned rooms; children made articles are also displayed in the area of these classrooms. It creates curiosity in all children minds about their own handmade creative collections. Teachers are using all sorts of audio visual and Montessori methods to explain any lesson to the small kids. Students will find separate dance room,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], music room, toy room and art room to cater the specific needs of the students here.
The School association has planned to launch several schools across the nation in the chain of Mothers Muskan Play Group. Nobody can deny that play school is performing very essential role for all the students for their wholesome growth. We are offering world class play group facility to each student with individual attention in our school. Here your child will learn all recreational and pleasurable activities in the school with full enthusiasm. Parents are surprised,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], when they come to know that their children are now becoming well acknowledgeable to enhance each childâ€™s learning,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], reasoning and basic behavioral skills.
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2) Realize The Price You Are Paying For These Fights Unless we truly realize the terribly toll fighting is taking on us,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as long as any of us hold onto our anger and continue fighting,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and bring it back to love. or which societies.
• 12/31=Joker; Marriagability Rating--Who Knows?
• 12/18=King of Hearts; Marriagability Rating--8; Celebrities born on this day--Brad Pitt, You will need three heavy plastic bags or boxes that you will label with 'trash', closets, What it means is to take all of those powerful negative images and redirect them into ones that will help – not hurt – you. if your ex cheated on you.
Author's Bio: there must be a way to rebuild it in an instant too. or a soft body you want to be hard, For me,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I usually visit Cammy’s grandmother three or four times a year for various reasons. “You’ve gained weight! The therapist should be accredited by a psychologist,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], keep in mind that experience is not infallible,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Don’t force anything; just notice what comes up. It’s true.
You know the ones we mean,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], They are there to help their friend on the most important day of her life. caring men as they are taught by a combination of experience and supervision. especially for boys. not too close, focusing instead on situations that are just right), growing and improving, positive,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but from a place of what you can give to your beloved. only you create and label these feelings and emotions.

Take time to get to know what's important to you by getting in touch with how you feel about things in your daily life.
Inner emptiness is caused by a lack of connection to the love you feel inside and to spirit.
This advice is really just common sense that you already have, If he sees you having fun and going out,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], step relatives – the list goes on. Give more love, “I really appreciate how hard you work to bring in extra income,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], There are certainly times when you’ll want to put a significant amount of time and energy into a project that shows your love for your partner in a major way, a parent related the following to me after a discussion of how society and youth have changed in recent generations:
The other day,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the less real influence you have over them.
funny and intelligent. A WOMAN AND HER DOG
To test her theory, Florencia,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the background as well as stories,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], . make sure that you both know exactly where and when you're supposed to meet, oranges and then blues. For us to grow we are going to have to change. I told her to let the activities go.
Let the Activities Go
When I talked to my team member the other day.
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You think about your decision about returning to your ex. You could assume that your emotions are rioting, but calm down. Maybe you and your ex are better apart than together. Probably, your relationship is irreconcilable because of some circumstances that happened. You should also give your ex some time to think and relax.
5. Contact your ex
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You need to focus on building your love to keep your relationship strong. Do not wait until your relationship reaches a stage irreconcilable,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
3. Bring your ex a gift on special
But how to bring back your ex and fix your relationship? Getting your ex back is a risky business. Probably, he or she can not have you back. There is uncertainty as to whether your efforts to get your ex back actually condicen him or her further away from you. Here I will tell you how to make your ex back with 6 amazing ways and repair your relationship.
So you can have a greater impact, recreates some special moments when they were together. This will flood some good memories about your relationship. Remind him or her and remember the times we shared together. Do not forget that you must focus on the positive aspects of your relationship. The negative memories will give your ex more reason not to get back together.
6,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Reassure your ex giving your love
You must admit the mistakes you’ve made and that may have led caused the breakup. Your ex definitely wants to see changes in your behavior,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. With all sincerity reassures your ex showing you your change and you’re willing to do everything possible to fix your relationship.
How to make your ex back…
2. Ask your ex on a date
It takes a lot of effort to fix your relationship and really understand how to get back your ex. Do not give up for anything in the world if you want the back your love,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Try to stay calm and not make the mistake of obsessing or despair.
A gift is an order of peace. Do not buy your ex anything shiny and expensive,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Rather Buy her something that is meaningful to him or her or the relationship. This demuestrará your partner still treasure to him what she likes.
Ruptures in our society today are increasingly common in relationships. In some cases, you definitely are inevitable. Some say that a break will bring you closer to finding the person meant for you. However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is quite possible that you break up with the person that you thought it was meant or intended for you.
The problems in the relationship that will continue to cause rupture relentlessly if not treated and soluciinan,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Communicate to bring these issues to light and resolve,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
4. How to make your ex back ,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].. Keep the sincerity with your ex
Getting in touch with him or her,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], while the pressure is the limit, it could be fatal for all your efforts. After spending some time apart, you should contact your ex by sending him or her an email or a text message. Perhaps also,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you can give your ex a call and ask him or her as is. Make sure the connection is subtle. Be sure not to be too strong and forceful.
1. Take time to calm down and think
By Michael Lois
See all Articles by Michael LoisGet Updates on Relationship AdviceGet Updates on Michael Lois Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
You must tell your ex that you still feel love and have deep feelings for him or her. Prove it. There is no greater betrayal to say that you still love him or her and then go around dating other people and ending in infidelity.
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No matter how big your company is and how popular your brand is, it is vital to know that customers are the king. Customers are an important asset of the company,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], therefore develop user-friendly applications. A tricky app may not receive much audience. Keep it simple!
We live in a tech-savvy era. Therefore, incorporation of advanced features that enables smooth communication or functioning of business is important. The iPhone app should focus on delivering these features. Choose the right software development company as per your ease. Such agencies or companies offer customized software package that may best suit your specific requirements. Starting with a simple app to a complex ones,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], experienced developers create applications through which you can access anything and everything from any part of the world at just a couple of clicks.
Since 2007,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], after the launch of iPhone in the market, the rising number of iPhone users has made the product most popular among all the Smartphones available. The rising need of iPhone has led to an increase in the demand for creative applications and engaging features. This is the reason why iPhone Application Development is at peak these days.
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iPhone is not limited to just a phone you can use to send/receive messages and make or receive calls. It facilitates gaining information/data and an enhanced tool for entertainment. Apart from personal use,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], iPhone application development has also proved a boon for businesses. The product has helped companies enjoy a powerful online presence as well as create brand awareness or establish a brand.
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Prep #2: Get Centered and Clear
Believe it or not,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], part of what creates those uncomfortable moments with other people comes from inside of you. Even if you're not the instigator,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you are the responder or reactor to someone's negativity or clumsiness.
Try to access your wise,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], observer self (the part of you that doesn't get triggered). What would that part of you say about these people and situations?
Comb through each and every possible negative thing you can imagine and create ways to gracefully navigate them. And yes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], even with all the prepping, there will still be those unexpected surprises. Wink

These are opportunities to learn.
One big idea to keep in mind is that you have choices. You may not feel like you have choices, but you do. You don't even "have" to go to anything unless you choose. Once you choose, that's where the wisdom comes in.
What you can do:
Ask yourself, "Why does this day matter and why does it matter to me?"
"What transcendent themes do I want to hold in my consciousness as I go to this gathering?"
Whether you're going to gather with family or friends,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], many people find holiday events very stressful.
By Belinda Lams of Soul Organizer
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Work to get to a place of peace and compassion for each person that you will encounter.
Here are some simple tips to help you prepare and make this year better than your last,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Make sure you do these BEFORE you go,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]!
What you can do:
If you know you will be around someone who is particularly critical or demeaning, create several strategies to politely remove yourself.
Ex. If grandma starts getting mean and critical,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I will suddenly have to use the restroom and excuse myself. (I got that one from Rabbi Finley).
What you can do:
Think of the situation you are going into. Who will be there? What is the nature of your relationship with each one? Is anything triggering you? If so, name it specifically.
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Ask yourself,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], "What kind of person do I want to be at this gathering?"
Name all the attributes of your best self that you can bring into the situation for the highest good.
The more clear and centered you are, the more likely you are to act in the way that you really want to be. You'll have the most success if you clear yourself before you go.
Prep #1: Remember Why
Holidays were created because they have meaning. Due to of all the commercialism and busyness, much of the root meanings get swept aside and the holidays become something entirely different than their original intent.
However, if you can take a few moments to remind yourself about the larger themes that make this time special,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you will be in a much bigger internal conversation than stressing on what to wear or bring.
Don't forget that other people may also have some anxiety about the event. Your clear energy will not only be good for you, it can actually make a positive impact on other people as well. If you don't believe that, just try it as an experiment this year. What do you have to lose?
Prep #3: Devise Strategies for Difficult Moments
If you know that you will be in some situations that you find particularly awkward or toxic, plan some strategies to help you navigate those moments. Have them at the ready in your bag of tools so you won't be caught in a situation that you have difficulty getting out of.
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However, it's critical that you get this part handled as it's the foundation of all your success with women and dating. And if all you did was get this part handled, your success with women will skyrocket. Evidence by the fact that women complain about it a lot.

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The history of the relationship between presidential candidates and control of political parties has been eventful. The then New Democratic Party presidential candidate Kim Dae-jung had a lonely and difficult fight in the seventh presidential election, held in 1971. Part of a minor faction within the party,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], when he became its candidate he got little help with his lonely struggle against the colossal ruling forces. In the course of the party��s candidate selection process he promised to surrender control of the party if made its candidate, but despite his promises the main faction stood back and watched, not helping him in the least during the campaign. History would have been different today had the New Democratic Party put all its weight behind him.
In the 1992 presidential election, the balance between the two again became the subject of much attention. The Democratic Liberal Party,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], created out of three party merger of 1990,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], had Kim Young-sam as its presidential candidate and Kim Jong-pil as president of the party. The Democratic Party had Kim Dae-jung as its candidate and Yi Gi-taek as its joint party president. In the 1997 election,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the ruling Grand National Party had Lee Hoi-chang as its candidate, Cho Soon for party president, and Lee Han-dong for chairman. The National Congress for New Politics, formed around a union of Kim Dae-jung and Kim Jong-pil, had Kim Dae-jung as candidate and head of the party and Kim Jong-pil as election committee chairman. Opposition forces had to hold to a combative party structure in order to fight the oppression of the authoritarian era more effectively, and the situation necessitated a party structure in perfect order. Fighting the powerful ruling forces meant they had to bring all opposition elements together, and the strategic need to distribute the positions around could not be ignored.
One discovers two important patterns here. In parties that have "owners," or where the leader enjoys exclusive authority, the issue is not a problem. Even when these roles have been separated in parties such as these, party authority has been a simple acting role, and not a real division of power. In the thirteenth presidential election, the ruling camp gave the role of party head early on, for the sake of the previous party head's successor.
Another phenomenon worthy of attention is how whether from the military or a fighter for democracy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], when party heads have "owned" their parties,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they have been victorious. Parties where the candidate has essentially controlled the whole of the party machine and put it in full operation on his behalf have won the elections. This is why many suggest that one of the main reasons Grand National Party candidate Lee Hoi-chang lost the 1997 election was because the party and its candidate went their own ways. Times have changed, but in 1971 candidate Kim Dae-jung complained about the very same phenomenon.
The situation will remain the same no matter who becomes the Millennium Democratic Party's candidate. Whoever wins the candidacy, it will not be easy for the winner to concentrate all the other would be candidates and other competing factions on the election on his behalf. As long as candidacy and party authority are separate,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as long as the candidate doesn��t have full control of the party, the more this will be true. Everyone's stance will relax if the campaign is not clearly going in successful directions, and influential people within the party will then start trying to secure their positions for the "5 year incubation period" in anticipation of the next election, and based on past experience it is easy to see how this will be the case.
Parties exist to seize the government and this requires the party's energies be concentrated together. But for some strange reason, the Korean political climate has it that once the head of the party is named its candidate,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], everyone demands that he surrender party authority,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as if people want to divide up the spoils of influence. It's an entirely different issue from "politics by the party head's aides,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]," "monopolized politics," and "aristocratic politics." If someone forgoes the politics of inclusion and depends on ruling through his aides,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then that person should be kept from even trying to become a presidential candidate, and if someone doesn't know how to at least do away with the habit of ruling through one's closest aides,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then they should concede their candidacy. If someone out there thinks monopolized party politics through ruling through one's aides is a whole different problem, yet thinks surrendering party authority is going to solve all their problems, then they are not qualified to take over government.
Some say that we live in the era of democracy, and that with no alternatives in the Grand National Party, Lee Hoi-chang should reform himself. But having him immediately surrender his position as head of the party for such ends does not look all that pure, either. Seizing the reins of government is more important than everything else. The Millennium Democratic Party is about to have party authority and its candidacy separated, and in such a situation this presidential election will be a confrontation between candidates, and will not become a competition between the two parties.
(Executive Editor - March 23, 2002)
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Congratulations! You just decided to quit drinking and/ taking drugs. But what is the next step?
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6. Twelve -step based program used - This is a highly valuable program in alcohol and drug rehabilitation. You should also ask if they implement holistic care,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
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8. Psychiatrist - Since alcoholism and drug addiction are associated with depression and other psychological problems, it is important to receive the professional help from a psychiatrist.
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10,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Length of stay - The duration of your treatment will play a major role in your transition from addiction to sobriety as well as the cost of the programs.
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12. Foods served - This is essential especially if you are a vegetarian or your religion forbids some foods.
13. Physical exercises – Exercise is important to keep you fit and mentally alert.
14. Spirituality - It is believed that a person will easily recover from addiction with the development of spiritual consciousness.
15. Success rate - This will help you evaluate if the services of the treatment facility are effective.
16. Case studies - Check the verity of the testimonials and ask for the opinions of its former clients to ascertain if the facility can really help you recover from substance dependence.
17. Treatment center rules - It is better to know about the rules as early as possible to avoid regrets in the end especially when it comes to financial matters.
18. Disciplinary measures for violating rules - Be sure to ask about punishment/penalty for violations of the rehab’s rules before you enroll.
19. Room accommodations - Some people prefer to be alone and some want to be in a group. Check their room policies and the cost for your preference,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
20. Accreditation by JCAHO or CARF - These are two national organizations that carry a lot of weight within the recovery industry. Treatment centers with these accreditations are a big plus.
20 concerns involved in picking a treatment center:
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Enter a treatment center.
By Darren King
See all Articles by Darren KingSee Darren King&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Expert PageGet Updates on Addiction and RecoveryGet Updates on Darren King Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
It is difficult to put a paradigm in finding a treatment center that will exactly meet all your expectations. But the above-mentioned concerns will help you find a rehab that will give you the best programs and living conditions for a comfortable recovery. The most important advice we can give it to ask plenty of questions before making a selection.
You have other concerns like your painful and grueling withdrawal experience, cravings and negative feelings due to substance dependence. Though you have decided to stop taking addictive substances, your body and emotions are not ready to take the challenges of the steps to full sobriety. For these reasons, full assistance from the experts is necessary for you to have a safe,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], uncomplicated and comfortable transition from addiction to sobriety. It will be beneficial to have a checklist that will guide you in finding the most comfortable and effective treatment center to take care of your concerns.
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The next time anger threatens to spoil a family event,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], try these simple steps:
When an upsetting family event occurs, you have a choice of how you are going to explain it to yourself—what you are going to tell yourself about it. This will influence how angry,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], stressed, or upset,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you become over the event.
Of course, none of these things made any sense to Tom once he cooled down and became his rational self again. But,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], at the moment of anger explosion, Tom’s self-statements seem 100% true to him.
Jeanette was dumbfounded at Tom’s reaction; she truly thought this would be a gift that would greatly please him.
Step 2: Examine the evidence. The most convincing way of disputing negative self-talk toward a family member is to show yourself it is factually incorrect. Do not lie to yourself, but—like a detective —simply and honestly look at all the evidence at hand.
Changing your self-talk
As these examples clearly show, people are not disturbed by things or events, but by their view of them,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as Epictetusan—a Greek philosopher—observed early in the 2nd century.
No wonder he became so upset at Jim’s innocent attempt at a compliment. Like many of us, Jack was responding to his perspective of what was being communicated—not Jim’s.
Jack was eventually capable of seeing that Jim was truly trying to compliment him and that he truly saw Jack as someone to be admired because of how far he had come in life.
Case #1: Jeanette and Tom had been married 15 years. Wanting
to surprise him for his birthday,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Jeanette, with her own money, bought Tom a big-screen LCD television.
For instance, when calm Tom remembered that his wife was excellent with money and rarely overspent. Jack remembered that Jim never disparaged him and, in fact, had always supported him throughout the years of their friendship.
Rather than seeing this as a compliment, however, Jack became offended and angry. He berated Jim for “putting him down,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]," as he interpreted Jim’s comment.
Case #2: Jim was having a friendly beer with his brother-in-law Jack when the discussion turned to Jack’s success in life. Wanting to compliment him,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Jim commented on how far he had come, how proud of himself he must be and how much he is an inspiration to others, given his background with alcoholic and dysfunctional parents.
Step 3: Find a more positive and useful way of interpreting the behavior of family members. Tom was finally able to see his wife’s buying behavior as a sign of love and caring for him, rather than trying to hurt him or cause stress.
Tom’s reaction? He instantly blew up and berated Jeanette for spending so much money—buying more television than they needed, a bigger model than they had previously looked at together.
Step 1: Retreat and think things over,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Never respond immediately to a family anger or stress trigger. Give your body and your mind a chance to calm down so you can think rationally,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Research shows this may take at least 20 minutes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Views cause anger
Jack who became offended at being congratulated for overcoming his past, was actually having the following conversation in his head: he is putting me down because I had alcoholic parents; he is saying I am not capable of being successful on my own instead of 'overcoming' something in my past; he is mocking me because of how I grew up.
Tom, who exploded when his loving wife bought him a new television,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], was telling himself things like: she has such poor judgment-buying a bigger TV than we need; there she goes again, spending money excessively; why can’t she ever do what I want her to do? Why did I marry such a woman?
Learning to change what you tell yourself —your self-talk— can break the cycle of negativity that can often poison our minds when we get angry. We all have 'scripts' in our minds that tell us messages and stories about family members and how they behave.
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Now you have a choice to make -- should you simply follow their lead and move in whatever direction the nearest expert points you OR should you take the time to learn about this condition and develop your own opinions. The first choice may be easier in the beginning when you are feeling stressed, anxious, and exhausted, but in the long run I believe you will be happier with option #2. Give me a couple minutes and I'll try to tell you why.
#3 - To make it easier to live with yourself.
When you understand your child's condition you will be a more effective partner for every doctor,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], therapist,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and case management specialist that you come in contact with. No one knows your child better than you do or has as much access as you do. If anyone is in a position to see subtle changes or identify potential problems -- it's you. But only if you know what to look for and what questions to ask. That "know how" comes from educating yourself. Can't you just learn from the doctors and therapists? No. You will learn a lot from good professionals,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but few will have the time to fully educate you about your child's condition. And even if they were willing to sit with you for hours, you couldn't absorb it all at once. You need to learn at a pace that is comfortable for you and to have the control to focus on areas that are high on your concern list. Even if it takes time and effort you don't feel you have to give. It's that important.
#2 - To protect your child.
First of all,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], this has nothing to do with intelligence. You are facing an area you have never been exposed to and your lack of knowledge is all about time not ability.
Your child has just been diagnosed with a disabling condition. Suddenly you are surrounded by professionals,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Usually they are:
By Lisa Simmons
See all Articles by Lisa SimmonsGet Updates on ParentingGet Updates on Lisa Simmons Average: 3 Your rating: None Average: 3 (1 vote) Tweet
#1 - To make you a better partner in your child's care.
Many parents have "closet fears". That somehow,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], something they did (or didn't do) caused their child's condition. It can eat away at your sense of security as a parent and if you feel your spouse did (or didn't do) something critical then it can eat away at the foundation of your marriage. Factual information is the only way to end this internal debate and put it behind you. Raising a child with special needs is extremely hard on marriages and the last thing you need is an additional (unfounded) stressor to complicate the situation.
#4 - To connect you to a larger community
Are you overwhelmed yet? Receiving a diagnosis is almost always a double-edged sword. Part of you is relieved to finally have a name for what you are dealing with, but another part of you is grieving. Even if you knew in your heart something wasn't right --hearing your fears confirmed is almost always traumatic.
Learning the language of special needs doesn't have to be an added burden. In fact, it can turn out to be a way of finding a community of personal support that will help you through many difficult days and situations. As you research your child's condition you are likely to encounter other parents,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], support groups, discussion lists, websites, and information centers that are created specifically to help parents raising children with special needs. By drawing on these sources of information and support you can become the kind of parent you always wanted to be -- knowledgeable,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], secure, and prepared to love and care for your special child.
99.9% of all healthcare and social service professionals are wonderful, caring individuals who want to do everything they can to support you and help your child. Having said that, you need to be aware that occasionally you may cross the path of someone who is too overworked, too stressed,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or too worried about budget concerns to put your child's need ahead of everything else. If someone like this doesn't tell you all the options available,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], will it hurt your child's progress toward independence? It's hard to say for sure. The impact might only be minor. Or it could be extremely significant. What if that person decides that assistive technology is too expensive and your child never learns to communicate independently. If you know the available options you are prepared to say, "I think there are some other options we need to discuss".
Using words so long they give you a headache Wanting permission to do a test you aren't familiar with or Asking you choose between options you don't fully understand
TIP: If you're ready to start learning,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], don't go it alone. Look for a community of support like Ideal Lives where you can find resources related to your child's diagnosis; recommended "parent guide books" written in plain English; acronym glossarys to figure out all the jargon; and a wonderful community of supportive parents who've been where you are.
© 2004 Lisa Simmons. Author's Bio:
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Other imagery might involve seeing stress flow out of your body, or things you are concerned with moving away from you into the distance. You can also see waves of relaxation flowing down over your body and these waves can move in time with your breathing. You should feel how the relaxation is moving down your body with each new wave. Once you have done this regularly, wherever you are, you can stop for a while, even for just a minute, or as long as you are able, and imagine you are in your relaxing place or the waves of relaxation are flowing over you while you breathe in the relaxation inducing manner. You can also do deep breathing while imagining the stress flowing out of your body with each breathe you exhale. Another very effective way to reduce stress is by practicing muscle relaxation. Remember that relaxation is incompatible with the stress state, so that if you can generate relaxation in some way, you will automatically be countering the stress in your life. Relaxed muscles are the opposite of the tensed muscles experienced with stress. If you learn to relax your muscles, you will be in a more relaxed state and your stress will be reduced. Many people use what is called progressive muscle relaxation. You should consult with your doctor before using this method if you have back problems or muscle spasms, or any other condition you think might lead to injury from this program. Starting either from the top part of your body or at your feet,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you tighten then relax each set of muscles. For example, you might tighten your fists and hold this for about five seconds, fully experiencing the tenseness of the muscles used. Then you release this contraction and completely relax the muscles. Breathe out as you do so. It is important to focus your attention on the different feelings of tension and total relaxation. Take your time to fully experience the feelings of relaxation in the muscles. You can repeat doing this with each muscle group, feeling deeper relaxation each time as you release the contraction. Be careful when you contract the muscles in your feet and your back; do this deliberately, but gently and carefully. Practice throughout your body for awhile then you are ready for the next stage. Now you will tense all the muscles of your body at once and then release them, while saying a word, like "relax" or a phrase, like "let go," out loud or silently in your mind. Make sure you keep breathing in a relaxing manner as you are doing all these exercises. Never hold your breath. If practiced regularly, you can reach a point where all you have to do is feel in your body where you are experiencing muscle tension, think of that muscle group in your mind, say that word or phrase, and while you are in that stressful situation, you will experience relaxation. Exercise is another very effective way to relieve stress. It releases tension in the muscles which leads to a state of relaxation when completed. It improves blood flow to your brain and throughout your body to bring more nutrients and oxygen to these areas and remove toxins and other waste products from them too. In addition, a body in better physical condition is better able to deal with the actual physiological stresses created by being in stress creating situations. Exercising results in an improved mood. This may result from physiological changes within your body, but there is another reason as well. While you are exercising, especially if you are doing some sport, you are focusing on other things rather then the concerns which were causing you stress. Exercise will also help you to sleep soundly, and getting enough healthy sleep is an important part of combating stress. You should examine your sleep habits and make sure you are getting enough sleep each night. Many people do not get enough sleep and this contributes to the stress they experience trying to cope with things during their waking life. If you are one of the individuals who do not get plentiful sleep, you should seriously consider rearranging your life to get more sleep. Make sure you consult your doctor before beginning any new exercise program. There are some forms of exercise that combine meditation, breathing and physical movement. For example, you might wish to try Tai Chi or Yoga. Remember, the best stress reduction system is the one that works for you and leads to less stress and more relaxation. Often people can improve their overall results by just adding more pleasant enjoyable moments during the day. Listening to your favorite music or reading a good book are some things you may have neglected to include in your life recently. Taking the time to enjoy good food, and taking a brisk walk can all add up to less stress and a more enjoyable relaxing existence. A lot of little things can add up and change the tone of your life toward the more positive. One of these things, often overlooked, is to include more humor in your life. This might include seeing more comedies in the movies, and amusing shows on TV, for example,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], going to the Comedy Channel regularly, or reading your favorite comedian’s latest book. It is now accepted that humor and laughter can significantly lower stress and have very positive mental and physiological effects on your health. You must experiment and see what works best for you. Often it may actually be a combination of things that will best lead to you a less stressful, more relaxing and enjoyable life.
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The basic form of meditation is simply to focus your attention on one simple and relaxing thing. This relaxes the mind and keeps it from dwelling on stress generating thought. As a result the mind gets relief and with the mind more relaxed the body follows. To do it, you should be in a comfortable position. Some people meditate in the so-called lotus position, you may have seen on yoga magazines. But this is not at all necessary. You can just sit in a comfortable chair or lie on your bed. You may chose to meditate for any period, but 20 to 30 minutes would be a good period to aim for. If you are worried you will lose track of time, you can use an alarm, preferably a gentle one, like a radio with music coming on or another softer choice of sound.
Stress can lead to troubled sleep and insomnia and also interfere with normal sexual function. It can affect concentration and memory. It not only leads to muscle tension throughout the body, but this muscle tension can lead to serious tension headaches. Among the other negative things that occur, our blood pressure remains heightened and cortisol, unhealthy to the body in sustained amounts, continues to flow into our body. The release of cortisol, a major stress hormone, appears to promote the formation of fat around the abdomen, an area which is considered the most unhealthy place to store fat. And the psychological nature of stress may be one of the key reasons some people become and stay fat. Sugar and blood glucose raising foods which act like sugar, such as bread, bagels, pasta and white potatoes, increase the glucose going to the brain, which makes us feel better. But they also generate a lot in insulin which then withdraws the glucose from the blood, and makes us feel down all over again, creating an unhealthy mood cycle that leads to our using these same foods again, and gaining weight. In addition, these foods stimulate the production of serotonin which relieves stress and anxiety by putting our minds in a more relaxed and peaceful state, another reason we crave them when stressed and put on weight.
Unhealthy levels of stress have become an unfortunate part of the modern life most people are living today. A desire to alleviate this stress has led many people to pursue ways to deal with it that are unhealthy. The reader, who is suffering from the effects of stress, may think that many of the successful people around them who are extremely busy and working long hours are somehow more resourceful when faced with the demands of modern life. However, human beings have a natural limit to how much effort and strain they can deal with. I’m sure many of you would be surprised how often many of these, seemingly more capable, people turn out to be dependent on some form of drugs to be able to continue on in life the way they are going. These drugs may be legal pharmaceuticals such as tranquilizers, anti-depression drugs, and also ones designed to deal with anxiety and insomnia. But also, many people take illegal drugs, not just for the physiological and mental enjoyment they might provide,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but often to escape from otherwise, unbearable stress. People may actually be self-medicating themselves when they smoke cigarettes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], drink alcohol excessively and use marijuana. In addition,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], because the stress they are subject to may leave them enervated and tired, they may also resort to stimulants, such as nicotine and caffeine, or even illegal drugs such as cocaine, to keep their energy up to be able to do all they want to do in their rushed lives.
People can be subject to these stress conditions in ways that they fully realize, or, for some, they can remain unaware of just how much stress they are being subjected to, and continue on as they are going until their true condition is finally reflected in some serious health condition. The fact is, even low levels of stress, if they are chronic, can have serious negative effects on one’s life. Individuals who are self-employed or their own bosses can experience ongoing stress because of the demands they place upon themselves. On the other hand, the typical worker may experience stress for number of reasons. They may be subject to pressure because of the complexity and time constraints of their work. The regular job itself may be structured with deadlines or amounts of work that are very demanding. This may occur sometimes in a company that wishes to be more profitable by reducing their work force, and then unreasonably asks the remaining workers to increase their own load of work, to maintain the same overall level of productivity. Another cause of stress may be that a worker is subject to a poorly skilled boss who is unable to make clear what is expected of him, or relates by bullying and harassing the individual. A key psychological cause of stress on a job is a feeling that one has little power or influence over one’s working life. Employers should definitely interest themselves in becoming aware of reducing stress in the workplace as stress can seriously reduce a worker’s effectiveness. His concentration and memory may become impaired and he may experience debilitating sleep disruptions with an increase of danger from accidents both in and out of workplace. Overall, his potential for developing health problems increases considerably.
And, of course, in one’s social life, ongoing stress may be caused by a family illness or death,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or social strife within a family or other social relations. Personal financial problems can also be a significant source of stress.
Just the demands and strain caused by an overly busy active life in which there just doesn’t seem to be enough time to get everything done, except, maybe, by rushing and hurrying through one’s day, without any real moments of taking your time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or just slowing down completely and relaxing, can create serious ongoing stress for the mind and body. Ongoing stress will sap your energy and debilitate you so that you may resort to taking in more caffeine from different sources, as it is found not only coffee, but in many popular sodas and even some teas. Caffeine stimulates the production of adrenaline, and may give you a sense of having more energy. In the end this will prove counterproductive as adrenaline is a stress hormone, and even though you may feel more energy, you will be experiencing even more of the effects of stress such as increased heart rate and blood pressure. Anyone suffering from stress needs to keep caffeine out of their life. Overall caffeine works against the relaxation you are in need of to counter and diminish your psychological and physiological stressed state. Fortunately, there are many effective ways to reduce stress within our everyday life at work and at home. Some of them can be done by yourself and with a little practice they can be instrumental in helping you avoid any long term detrimental effects that might have otherwise have occurred from your ongoing stressful situations.
Hypnosis is one modality people can use to relieve their stress. Since our beliefs and attitudes can influence how capable and confident we feel about ourselves, they can influence how stressed we feel when we have to deal with life’s challenges. With hypnosis people can change the underlying attitudes and beliefs in their subconscious mind, and meet life’s challenges in a more resourceful, less stressful way. In addition, hypnosis can be used to help people experience and incorporate stress reducing, relaxing mental and physical states into their everyday lives. For all these reasons hypnosis is the easiest and quickest way to alleviate stress and live a healthier, relaxing life. However, there are many ways the individual can get significant relief from stress by themselves. The key point to understand in the relief of stress is that relaxation is incompatible with the stress state, so that if you can generate relaxation in some way, you will automatically be countering the stress in your life.
The stress response as an adaptation that allows one to deal with an emergency situation is of great value. The flight or fight response to an imminent danger is the original form of physiological response to the stress of a threat to our survival. Hormones are released within the body such as adrenaline to help us respond by increasing our heart rate and raising our blood pressure by constricting our blood vessels. This allows us to get more blood to muscles that might be necessary for our survival. The muscles also tense to be ready for action. Other hormones signal for the release of cortisol which allows more blood sugar to be available for any fight or evasive retreat that is called for. However, to have the body remain in this emergency physiological state for long periods of time is extremely mentally uncomfortable and physiologically unhealthy. Unfortunately, this is exactly what occurs from the experience of stress in our modern life.
Once you are ready, you can choose how to concentrate your attention. One very popular way is to concentrate on your breathing. Pay attention to your slow breathing in and out. Here I want to point out, controlling your breathing, all by itself, can be a powerful influence on your stress and significantly reduce it. When we are experiencing stress we breathe shallow breathes up in our chest. When we are relaxed we breathe slow, deep breaths by expanding our lower stomach area. Just by imitating the physiological states of relaxation, by controlling our breathing consciously to be like that when we experience relaxation, we induce our minds and bodies to experience relaxation. Thus, we can note here that breathing to promote relaxation, even without the act of meditation is a valuable resource for reducing stress. The beauty of using breathing for this purpose is that it can be employed wherever you are, even at work. You can just stop for a few moments and take a few slow, deep diaphragm breaths and you will be able to counter any stress you experiencing.
Meditation is one of the key ways people can reduce stress and introduce a feeling of complete mental and physical relaxation into their lives, one which can continue to provide help in dealing with any stress experienced throughout the rest of the day. I want to say here,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that, because of meditation’s connection with Eastern religions, many of you might feel that it is not in consonance with the life you are leading. The truth is, meditation is a valuable technique that is not of itself religious, but has simply been incorporated by various religions for their own purposes. It can be utilized in a completely non-religious way to achieve deep states of relaxation and great stress relief. Those suffering from serious stress should not hesitate to make use of this valuable resource for reducing stress in their lives.
Using imagery is another way to relieve stress that people find extremely pleasant. You can either use a remembered peaceful, relaxing scene you have experienced or make up an entirely imaginary one. As you create this image in your mind make sure to involve as many senses as possible. For example, an image of a beach should involve seeing the waves and the blue sky with some lovely clouds in it; while at the same time you should be hearing the sounds of the waves and smelling the water and sand, feeling the warmth of the sun and a light breeze on your body.
Another way you can meditate is to concentrate on looking at an object. You can do this with anything, but it can be more relaxing to choose a flower or an attractive piece of glass or pottery or a candle with a flame. Observe it carefully, noticing everything about it. Of course, this can be enhanced by breathing in the relaxing way at the same time, even if your attention is no longer on your breathing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but on the object. Some people can become very relaxed by focusing on a sound repeated silently in your mind. It can be short word; it can be a number, like one, or the word "easy,", or the traditional sound used in religion,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Om. You can even make up your own! Today many people have sound machines,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and some of you may prefer to sit quietly with all your attention on listening to the sounds generated by your machine. You could listen to waves on a beach,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or crickets at night, or a downpour in a rainforest. Many people get relaxed from just listening to such sounds without using them for meditation. There are also many meditative recordings designed to initiate relaxation in the person. Perhaps one of these will prove to your liking and be very beneficial to you. While you are meditating in the way you have chosen, some other thoughts may enter your mind, do not fight them, just gently turn your attention back to what you were focusing on.
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Celebrities, including director of the National Theater Kim Myeong-gon, musical creator Song Seung-hwan, designer Lie Sang-bong, actress Yun Seok-hwa and pianist No Yeong-sim, will join Han at the exhibition, greeting the guests.

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When it comes to finding exquisite Wedding Dresses,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], d'Italia is the online shop to visit first. What the bride-to-be is wearing as she enters the ceremony is one of the most important issues that must be resolved. D'Italia offers brides a huge selection of beautiful wedding dresses,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], many of which cannot be found elsewhere.
In addition to their fine line of in-stock wedding dresses, d'Italia is also able to custom make that perfect wedding dress if requested to do so. They work with some of the best and most highly skilled tailors available. This dedication to quality is virtually unheard of in other wedding dress shops that offer online sales. The company is also able to provide custom made dresses for the entire bridal party. D'Italia offers its valued customers access to some of the finest fabrics available from which their skilled tailors will create the perfect wedding dress as well as exquisite dresses for her entourage if requested.
For years,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], d'Italia has been known as one of the finest online vendors for quality wedding dresses. While there are many reasons for this highly deserved reputation, one of the most important is that they offer brides a selection that far exceeds many of the company's competitors. When brides visit this site,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they find what they are looking for and they find their wedding dresses in a variety of price ranges. This ensures that all soon-to-be brides have access to quality wedding dresses that they will be thrilled to wear on that special day.
It should also be kept in mind that as important as the bride's wedding dress is to her big day, the bride's mother will often wish to look her best as well. For this reason, d'Italia has an outstanding line of dresses for the bride's mother. These,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], too,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], are available in a variety of styles and all are crafted from the same fine materials and lace that their wedding dresses are crafted from. The mother of the bride can also have her dress custom made if requested.
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Think about your wonderful attributes and not your faults. Take an inventory of your values, skills, talents, interests and “heart”. This is the beauty you present to the world. Leave all your negative thoughts behind at home.

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Individuals who are codependent lose themselves in others and in order to regain their sense of self-worth, they need to learn self-care techniques. It is important that they realize that taking care of yourself is not selfish,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but necessary. Many people need to be convinced of this. If you are codependent there are several things you can do for yourself,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], take a warm bath in the evenings to unwind,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], get a massage,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], practice yoga or mediation and even journal when you have a moment. This will help you to learn to take care of yourself and to fulfill your own desires.
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